i dont know

This blog was started on the 14th June 2010. I'm 5'10, 189 lbs and a size 14 UK dress size.
I just want to be beautiful.

190 - 19 April 2011
189 - 20 April 2011

13 stone 5 pounds

happy with myself at the moment :)

(Source: alteredstateofconsciousness)

13 stone

6 and a half pounds

currently taking food supplement pills 3 x a day

lets see where this takes me

When I am skinny, I will wake up every morning, look in the mirror and tell myself that I am beautiful. When I am skinny, I will happily ask for piggyback rides and not feel self conscious throwing myself into a hug. When I am skinny, I will buy adorable, figure-hugging clothes and wear them proudly. When I am skinny, I will smile at everybody I see, and make an effort to talk to new people, because they would have no reason to judge me negatively without knowing me. When I am skinny, I will be happy. But guess what, girls? That doesn’t just happen. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t. I wish it did too. I can’t just wake up tomorrow morning, a pretty little stick with a gap between my thighs. So what am I gonna do? Wallow in self-pity? No. I’m gonna burn those non-existant calories. I’m gonna stay up late to do those extra sit-ups, gonna make the effort to have that extra glass of water. I’m gonna sit back and decline the sugary and fatty foods. I’m gonna tell people I’ve just eaten, that I’m not hungry, that sorry but I’m allergic to that. I’m going to smile and seem like a sweet, gracious, NOT greedy girl who doesn’t revolve her life around food. And when it’s over, when I’ve worked and worked and worked, restricted and exercised to the point of breaking…will it have been worth it? Hell yeah it will! I’m gonna be beautiful, I’m gonna be skinny, and I’m gonna be the happiest girl I know. Just gotta get there first. I can do this.  

(Source: anajrp)